From competitorto leader.

The starting point

Two candidates, one position, and suddenly her manager.

I started working with Thorben because I was facing a big challenge as a young leader. One person in my team had completely different values and character traits than I do, and on top of that there was a real competitive situation: we had both applied for the same position, and now I was her manager.

We were caught in an emotional downward spiral together, and I was looking for someone who would find a way out of it with me. I came to Thorben through a recommendation, one that I would give myself today if somebody asked me.

How the work began

From the acute situation to my own values.

It started with an intro call in which I immediately noticed that it worked on a personal level. Even in that first conversation Thorben gave me one or two things to take away.

In the first sessions we worked on acute situations, for example an upcoming conversation with a team member. Good state management helped me take first steps that felt right for me. After that we worked intensively on my values and goals, and at some point we went deep into the neurological levels. From there on, Thorben step by step made himself unnecessary.

Whenever time got tight, he always took more time than I had booked. He was also always more than fair when it came to billing.

The moment it clicked

A knot that came loose, and a book that made everything clearer.

The actual turning point was the work on the neurological levels. That is where I felt a knot come loose. From then on the working relationship with my team member kept improving, I was less nervous and could stand more clearly behind what matters to me.

It became even clearer through a book Thorben recommended: Der Persönlichkeits-Code by Ulrich Oldehaver and Youri Keifens. The book helped me understand myself and my team better. It allowed me to read my team's reactions more accurately, and I stopped taking them personally.

The result

Leadership that feels light today.

Through the work with Thorben, leading feels lighter for me today. The collaboration with my team has improved noticeably. I am less nervous, because I understand others and above all myself better. That helps me be more authentic and calmer, and my team has confirmed that calm to me. By now I feel greater trust and a clearly better way of working together.